Awesome Role Models!

Thumbs up for Awesomeness!

We all need a dose of positivity...some days more than others!

Listening to the radio this morning I was reminded of an awesome role model who created a blog about finding something positive and awesome every day....I really like this guy Neil!

His site is 1000awesomethings.com and he has written 2 books.... The Book of Awesome and his second one was just released The Book of (even more) Awesome!

You can subscribe to his daily posts and be reminded ( especially on one of those days ) to find something to smile about, be happy with, grateful for or look forward to.

It isn't just parents, teachers, leaders, adults etc. who are role models, we all are and the younger the better as far as I'm concerned... way to go Neil!

Thumbs up!

Stammering Wisdom

Okay I know it seems as though I have been on hiatus, kind of like your favorite television series does just as things are heating up...my apologies!!

Well I can explain...well maybe not...no need...the good news is, all is well and I'm bbbbbbaaaaaack!

This past weekend my daughter treated me to a movie :) and I treated her to the popcorn (almost as much yikes!!)

Having been a little behind for a while, we finally got to see The King's Speech and all the buzz around this movie is well deserved!

I'm sure I can't be the only one who caught the huge message behind CCCCCCCCColin Firth's amazing performance!

The mutual respect and kindness that any of us treat our kids with or rather the lack thereof has a profound impact on them....not only revealed in more obvious ways such as a stammer as it was in this case, but the silent devastation and turmoil that can last long after a so called well-meant disappointment or disapproval from us is uttered!

No family is immune...not even a royal one! So let's try to breathe and count to 10 before those discouraging words come flying out...we can't take them back!! :-(

Bullying Awareness ...uh week??

Where I live it's Bullying Awareness week, but really, is a week of awareness enough? I don't think I'm the only one who wishes we could all be more conscious and aware of bullying every day!
Last month you couldn't turn on the television without seeing yet another expose on the tragic ending to a young life that could have been prevented.

It inspired me to share my views on bullying...not just as it pertains to gay teens but a more generic look at the root causes of bullying, the widespread effects and how we can end the cycle.
As the response was so overwhelming when I first posted these entries, I wanted to share them with you again...their content and relevance just as important today as the day I wrote them.

http://betherole-model.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-was-bullying-mom.html

http://betherole-model.blogspot.com/2010/10/breaking-bullying-cycle.html



Be part of the solution to end bullying for good! Be the Role Model!!

Breaking the Bullying Cycle

I have been sharing my story for years as to how I used to be a bullying mom and invariably people respond with either a thank you for inspiring them to take responsibility for how they have behaved and then there are other subscribers who demand to be taken off my list having been triggered by what I have shared.

I was out last night at a friend's house for dinner...a retired teacher and one of the kindest and loving women I know. She isn't a big news watcher so I caught her up on all the coverage of bullying lately and of course she was very interested having been in the school system for 35 years. (just as an aside, she is definitely not one of the negative examples that the documentary Waiting for Superman highlights.)

I had shared with her that I felt there had been an abundance of talk about the effects of bullying but not a lot on how to actually break the cycle. My friend was absolutely shocked and of course saddened as we all are to know how this cycle has permeated so deeply in our society.

Neither one of us can understand why more people aren't talking about how kids don't become bullies once they hit the school grounds...the conditioning starts way before then!

Our kids watch our every move...they overhear our overt comments and also take in the implied messages we send to them.

They are in the back seat as we curse at the driver who cut us off and hear us complain how "those" people...from whichever country they mention, can't drive.

They are within earshot as we judge and speak of our intolerance of other's lifestyle choices.

We yell, demean, disrespect and otherwise bully our partners...in front of them.

We separate or divorce and the impact of our meanness to each other is engrained in them.

I'm not saying I have all the answers, nor that I am a perfect role model or that my kids are perfect angels but what I know for sure is that if we don't stop and take a look at what we are modelling, we will keep feeding this insidious cycle...more lives will be needlessly lost...more families torn apart...

We have to start being aware of what we are teaching them remembering that our kids look up to us, they think we know everything and will adopt our beliefs and behaviors because they don't know any other way.

It's a common sense solution...being the best role models we can be for our kids will make a huge impact on breaking this cycle...and hopefully one day for good!!

I was a bullying mom...

It took me a little while to collect myself this morning before writing my blog. I had to wait out the tears that flowed from hearing all of the bullying stories that have been profiled in the media recently...my heart breaking for all involved, not only the bullied but the bullies as well.

The tears continued to flow as I connected with profound gratitude...I was grateful that I was able to shift my behavior and prevent two more kids from becoming victims or perpetrators of this epidemic, these children being my own.

You see I was a bullying mother.

This morning one of the news programs highlighted that they didn't believe that the bullies see their behavior and I agree wholeheartedly...I didn't see mine...but my kids sure did...but they didn't have a voice to tell me.

One day I woke up and became aware of what my behavior was teaching my kids...to become timid and fearful walking on eggshells around my moods or model my meanness and judgment.

Now I didn't look the part, although is there an identifiable look anyway? I didn't necessarily display my behavior for the world to see...but nonetheless I humbly admit that I was a bully.

Once I took responsibility for what I was teaching my kids, I became a different mother...a better role model and a voice for every child who hopes that the role models in their lives can muster up the courage to take a look in the mirror too...

I believe that everything we experience in life brings us to what we are meant to do. After taking a good look at myself and consciously choosing to change was the catalyst that ignited not only my passion to make a difference but my compassion as well...we all do the best we can until we know otherwise and awareness is the key!

We really do live in a mad mad world...but I know it can change...but we have to be that change!

No child is born a bully...let's be the best role models we can be for them!

Waiting for Superman?

Einstein would be shaking his head in disbelief to see that we are still doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results!

Kudos to those behind the making of the documentary Waiting for Superman! I haven't even seen the movie yet, although I will, but the clips that I and others have seen have certainly started a conversation... and that's a really good thing!

The question is what kind of conversation are we having? It's not about taking sides, judging, pointing fingers or casting blame...it seems to me that this movie is serving a greater purpose than just exposing the changes needed in the education system....it's much much bigger than that!

This film is a gigantic wake-up call for all of us...not just teachers, not just parents...but for all of us to become aware of and take responsibility of how we are showing up for our kids...what kind of role models we are.

We all do the best we can...I don't believe there are 'bad' teachers or 'bad' parents...we all have a good and not so good side to us and which side we choose to behave from is a choice we make. The unfortunate part is that in most cases we make that choice unconsciously.

So let's keep having the conversations that this movie is evoking, however, if you ask me, the most important conversation we can have is the one we have with ourselves...examining our own behavior more consciously, making the shifts that so many headlines are pointing for us to make, letting go of the hypocrisy and just start focusing on being the change that we have been condemning others for not being!

We're all a work in progress... ;o)

Shall we dance?

Did you know that most kids think that the adults in their lives aren't happy? I don't know about you but I think we need to change that perception!

Now I know we all have stuff going on in our lives, but many of us may not be aware of how we wear it everyday like a fitted suit! We can just as easily change gears and pull a different suit out of our closet...one of happiness, and the fastest way I know how to get there is by dancing!!

I was watching Ellen DeGeneres yesterday as I do when have time because every time I watch her show I laugh...out loud! She is so funny and as many of you know, she loves to dance!

Well as I listened, she tongue and cheekily (a word?) was taking credit for the dance movement that seems to have taken over our television screens in the recent years because before her, shows like Dancing with the Stars and So you think you can dance didn't exist!

But it's true...true that there is a growing dance movement and I for one am on that train... just ask my kids, although they would probably prefer that I curtail my movement when they have their friends over!

Dancing is a great way to shake things up...literally and figuritively, as in our mood. Just try to be stressed while your doin' a little jig...can't happen!

So today why not give it a try...lighten up a bit and bring out your inner John Travolta or Tina Turner and dance like nobody's watching even though they are!

Let's show them we're not a bunch of wall flowers after all! Here's to being a happy role model! :o)

Creating a Positive Culture

(x) + (y) = z     I recently did a presentation for a group of high school teachers and I used this math equation as an example to build the awareness of how we can create a more positive culture...not only in our classrooms and schools but a home as well.

I know math wasn't everyone's favorite subject like it was for me, but I promise, it's not a hard concept to get! Z represents the culture we're creating and the (y) reflects kids/students  behaviors and attitudes.

So I plugged numbers into the equation (x) + (y) = z  on the white board giving these two examples:
(2) + (-5) = -3    and   (6) + (-3) = +3

It was pretty clear to see that the outcome of a positive or negative culture (z) was dependent on the X factor....no matter how negative the (y) factor was....a variable which we can't control!

I think you can figure out where I'm going with this...the (x) is us...the adults...role models and we're in control of only one thing...how positive we are.

Even without doing the math, we know that we can't create a positive culture if we are negative...the math example was just a little reminder which we can all use every now and again :o)