Cairo...Libya...what's next?

Through the revolution in Cairo and the current devastating events in Libya, the world is witnessing the collective 'NO' that thousands finally have the courage to not only say but stand behind...no matter what!

They've had enough and are subsequently saying...

NO... to suppression
NO... to tyranny
NO... to control

The bullies on the world stage are being brought to task;  not with retaliation rooted in anger but with a fervent peaceful energy.

As I watch these events unfold with compassion for these incredibly brave people, I can't help bringing it even closer to home.

How many of us have or are still allowing ourselves or others to be treated the same way; maybe not to this extreme, but still unacceptable.

This same angry, disrespectful, fear-mongering and controlling behavior is displayed by some who feel they have the right to do so due to their position of power.

Bullies don't exist solely as dictators of countries or on school playgrounds. They can also be parents or the boss at work.

Be the role model in your life by becoming a peaceful activist where you live and work; find your voice  and support others in finding theirs!

Stammering Wisdom

Okay I know it seems as though I have been on hiatus, kind of like your favorite television series does just as things are heating up...my apologies!!

Well I can explain...well maybe not...no need...the good news is, all is well and I'm bbbbbbaaaaaack!

This past weekend my daughter treated me to a movie :) and I treated her to the popcorn (almost as much yikes!!)

Having been a little behind for a while, we finally got to see The King's Speech and all the buzz around this movie is well deserved!

I'm sure I can't be the only one who caught the huge message behind CCCCCCCCColin Firth's amazing performance!

The mutual respect and kindness that any of us treat our kids with or rather the lack thereof has a profound impact on them....not only revealed in more obvious ways such as a stammer as it was in this case, but the silent devastation and turmoil that can last long after a so called well-meant disappointment or disapproval from us is uttered!

No family is immune...not even a royal one! So let's try to breathe and count to 10 before those discouraging words come flying out...we can't take them back!! :-(

Who do we look up to?

Many of us grow up wanting to be just like the role models we idolize, but what exactly is it that we aspire to emulate?

For some, huge monetary success and a prestigious role in a corporation is something they see themselves becoming...others might be attracted to glamour and fame... and there are those who revere others who make a positive difference in the world and feel compelled to do the same.

These are but a few examples of people we may have looked up to when we were younger, however our 'job' is what we do...'who' we are when we're doing it is even more important!

Flash forward and now we are the role models ourselves and our influence on the coming generations is huge...so it begs us to reflect on what kind of role models we have become.

Do we measure our success by our bank account or by how we treat others? Is our ego inflated by fame or do we use our public success to model kindness and compassion? Do we help others to make ourselves look good or do we really see how we are all connected and give from a more selfless place?

Are we happy with what we have or unhappy not having what we want? Do we live by the golden rule or believe in an eye for an eye?

I hope that when it's my turn to go, the service will be filled to the rafters and spilling out into the parking lot with all the people whose live's I touched and somehow made a difference...for me that will be my measure of success...but I also hope that that's a long long time from now! :)

Breaking the Bullying Cycle

I have been sharing my story for years as to how I used to be a bullying mom and invariably people respond with either a thank you for inspiring them to take responsibility for how they have behaved and then there are other subscribers who demand to be taken off my list having been triggered by what I have shared.

I was out last night at a friend's house for dinner...a retired teacher and one of the kindest and loving women I know. She isn't a big news watcher so I caught her up on all the coverage of bullying lately and of course she was very interested having been in the school system for 35 years. (just as an aside, she is definitely not one of the negative examples that the documentary Waiting for Superman highlights.)

I had shared with her that I felt there had been an abundance of talk about the effects of bullying but not a lot on how to actually break the cycle. My friend was absolutely shocked and of course saddened as we all are to know how this cycle has permeated so deeply in our society.

Neither one of us can understand why more people aren't talking about how kids don't become bullies once they hit the school grounds...the conditioning starts way before then!

Our kids watch our every move...they overhear our overt comments and also take in the implied messages we send to them.

They are in the back seat as we curse at the driver who cut us off and hear us complain how "those" people...from whichever country they mention, can't drive.

They are within earshot as we judge and speak of our intolerance of other's lifestyle choices.

We yell, demean, disrespect and otherwise bully our partners...in front of them.

We separate or divorce and the impact of our meanness to each other is engrained in them.

I'm not saying I have all the answers, nor that I am a perfect role model or that my kids are perfect angels but what I know for sure is that if we don't stop and take a look at what we are modelling, we will keep feeding this insidious cycle...more lives will be needlessly lost...more families torn apart...

We have to start being aware of what we are teaching them remembering that our kids look up to us, they think we know everything and will adopt our beliefs and behaviors because they don't know any other way.

It's a common sense solution...being the best role models we can be for our kids will make a huge impact on breaking this cycle...and hopefully one day for good!!

Waiting for Superman?

Einstein would be shaking his head in disbelief to see that we are still doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results!

Kudos to those behind the making of the documentary Waiting for Superman! I haven't even seen the movie yet, although I will, but the clips that I and others have seen have certainly started a conversation... and that's a really good thing!

The question is what kind of conversation are we having? It's not about taking sides, judging, pointing fingers or casting blame...it seems to me that this movie is serving a greater purpose than just exposing the changes needed in the education system....it's much much bigger than that!

This film is a gigantic wake-up call for all of us...not just teachers, not just parents...but for all of us to become aware of and take responsibility of how we are showing up for our kids...what kind of role models we are.

We all do the best we can...I don't believe there are 'bad' teachers or 'bad' parents...we all have a good and not so good side to us and which side we choose to behave from is a choice we make. The unfortunate part is that in most cases we make that choice unconsciously.

So let's keep having the conversations that this movie is evoking, however, if you ask me, the most important conversation we can have is the one we have with ourselves...examining our own behavior more consciously, making the shifts that so many headlines are pointing for us to make, letting go of the hypocrisy and just start focusing on being the change that we have been condemning others for not being!

We're all a work in progress... ;o)

Are you getting the thumbs up?

We all do our best but some days, depending on which side of the bed we rolled out of, we could maybe use a little tweeking as we show up in our day as role models. The term role model in and of itself is neutral...the positive or negative slant depends on us!

It's not just parents like me, teachers, sports coaches or others who work with kids who should be mindful of what they're putting out there! We might not have our own kids...we might be aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, neighbors or the grocery clerk at the check out that frequently has children around them.

Most of us probably don't know where we stand from their point of view, so what if you took a big breath and asked them if they would give you a thumbs up or down in whatever role you play in their lives...what do you think the answer would be?

Now don't beat yourself up or anything...sometimes it may be up and others down....but the way to getting more 'up' days on the calendar is to ask them why they voted the other way! (Actually keeping track on a calendar isn't a bad idea !)

Hope to connect soon on my new facebook page a great resource with information and inspiration to get a thumbs up everyday!

I hope today is a thumbs up day for you!! :o)