Friday, June 25, 2010
I was asked to do a television interview this week on Global News here in Toronto addressing this very topic, in fact an area that I frequently discuss with many parents.
The fact is our kids will not all be A students...some are and others are at the other end of the spectrum, just like when we were in school...maybe our sibling(s) were at the top of the class and we weren't.
The point though as parents is to be aware of if we treat our kids differently based on their marks, because if we do, they can feel it!
Children just want to be unconditionally loved by us and that includes whether or not they get an A or an F.
For other tips to avoid any report card dramas, you can view the clip of the interview Enjoy :)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
So of course being a good mom, I wanted him to have some protein to go along with his sour gushers and dry alphabits that I substituted for cookies as I hadn't been shopping, so I made him a tuna sandwich.
Sometime late morning, I received this text..but before that I just wanted to make a suggestion that parents learn how to text as this is probably the only way they'll be able to communicate with their teens...anyway the text read like this: " Nice giant hair in my sandwich!"
I laughed so hard when I read it and even more so when he descriptively described, once he got home from school, how the whole thing went down in the cafeteria amongst his peers.
I had sent him a text back that said, "Extra protein never hurt anyone :)" He did end up eating the sandwich, after all we are family...but not the hair!
This morning I taped a note to his wrap that said, " No hairs in your lunch today!" which I know will make him smile.
The point of all this? We have to laugh more with our kids...have more fun with them and lighten up...it's so much easier when we do!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Our children are not born bullies…a phrase that I hope one day becomes a mantra for every single parent, teacher, coach and person working with kids. As I continued to watch I thought that one move in the right direction would be to change the definition of what it means to bully, so I wrote this:
Please amend the current definition for bullying to:
Any act, be it physical, verbal or non-verbal, that makes someone feel bad about themselves, not good enough.
There is an epidemic that pervades our society more than any disease that has ever existed – feeling not good enough.
It’s the common thread that runs through not only bullying, but the issues of obesity, depression, addictions, suicide and more!
In order to find the solution, we have to start asking ourselves the tough questions. There are way too many to mention but we can start with these general ones:
How do I treat my kids/partner when I’m mad?
Do I compare my kids to their friends, siblings, teammates?
Do I treat my child differently when they bring home an A or an F?
Do I express my disappointment when my kid doesn’t meet my expectations?
Do I punish my child when they act up?
This is just scratching the surface, but you get the idea. Now I know many of you may be getting a little incensed right now…I know because I did when I was asked to look at and take responsibility for my behavior…but we have to!
If we were honest with ourselves we would see that we have all been on either side of the bullying fence and if we ever hope to have harmony in our schools or our homes we have to have the courage to ask the tough questions!
This is a wake-up call that comes straight from the heart with unbridled compassion for every child who is bullied and for those who have become the bullies – they each express their feelings of not good enough in a different way, yet both in the way they have been taught.
We can stop this epidemic in its tracks by finding a way to heal our own feelings of not good enough so we don’t pass them along to our children and once we do that we will inspire a new legacy and generation of kids who are empowered and who would never need to put down another in order to feel better about themselves!
Harmony in our schools can and will happen when there is harmony in our homes and the solution lies in being a role model of unconditional love.