Friday, June 17, 2011

When Tempers Flare!

Some say parenting is one of the hardest jobs there is however, there is always an opportunity to shift our perspective to support an easier time in this role that we’ve undertaken.

As mothers and fathers we can sometimes get in our own way creating mountains out of mole hills; causing chain reactions that can stress out not only ourselves but the whole family.

Temper tantrums, disrespectful behaviour, school issues and the teenage years seem to top the list of areas where some parents endure the most challenging part of parenting.

With a small shift in how we handle any of these situations can result in a smoother and less stressful ride on our parenting journey.

If we look at temper tantrums for example, try to embrace these as ‘normal’; an expression of our toddler’s (or teen’s or even our partner’s…you fill in the blank!) frustration and anger.

It has to come out somehow and in fact it’s better to come out than to stay bottled inside however, at some point in their madness we sometimes get triggered and snap into dishing out the same.

Here are a few suggestions on how to circumvent any major blow ups!

o Respect their feelings…they are just as real as ours! The biggest problem seems to be when we try to engage with our kids or ‘reason’ with them when they are in a grumpy place – this usually ends badly – try to wait out the storm of emotions they’re embroiled in. (while waiting out yours too!)

o Breathe…allow them to vent trying not to take anything personally – suggest that they find a better area, say their room, to move through their mood assuring them that it’s normal to get mad but not to project it at us!

o Wait until they have calmed down to have a conversation about why they were mad; encourage them to talk about their feelings (remember you’re still breathing and staying centered though all of this ;) )
Everyone is entitled to feel angry and if we can not only accept but encourage our kids to get it out while staying centered ourselves, its one sure way to dispel the ‘hardest job” theory and experience a much easier parenting journey and at the same time avoid some of those bumps that we have yet to encounter down what can be considered by some to be a very long road!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Motherhood at it's best!

I'm one of the lucky ones...after years of yearning and trying I stepped into the role that I somehow always knew I would, despite the obstacles that kept popping up...I became a mom, one of the most important role models in our kid’s lives!

As I sit here now, almost a quarter of a century beyond my kid less twenties, I have but one regret - that I wasn't who I am now in those early years of motherhood.
  • I wish I could have had the where with all to bite my tongue before yelling and making my children cry...
  • I wish I had learned to be more present with them instead of being distracted by the stress and worries in my life...
  • I wish I had dismounted my high horse sooner, realizing that I didn't always know better or more than them...(and still don't!)
  • And most of all, I wish I could have known how to love them unconditionally from the get go (I thought I was :( )
The experience of being a mom was everything I thought it would be and more, although the more coming a little later in my rearing days. So I'm not perfect...none of us are!

We all do the best we can and I know that because of the stages my children have gone through – from temper tantrums to piercings and everything in between – I've grown up and changed too...and that's a good thing!!

My kids are both adults now and my traditional parenting role is pretty much over, I’ve done my job! At 18 and 19, I trust that my now young adults know right from wrong, kindness from not and have a vision for their lives that is all their own!

Of course I’ll be their mom forever but I’m looking forward to this next chapter of their lives and mine with no apron strings attached!

Wishing you all a wonderful Mother's Day!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Awesome Role Models!

Thumbs up for Awesomeness!
We all need a dose of positivity...some days more than others!

Listening to the radio this morning I was reminded of an awesome role model who created a blog about finding something positive and awesome every day....I really like this guy Neil!

His site is and he has written 2 books.... The Book of Awesome and his second one was just released The Book of (even more) Awesome!

You can subscribe to his daily posts and be reminded ( especially on one of those days ) to find something to smile about, be happy with, grateful for or look forward to.

It isn't just parents, teachers, leaders, adults etc. who are role models, we all are and the younger the better as far as I'm concerned... way to go Neil!

Thumbs up!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Cairo...Libya...what's next?

Through the revolution in Cairo and the current devastating events in Libya, the world is witnessing the collective 'NO' that thousands finally have the courage to not only say but stand matter what!

They've had enough and are subsequently saying...

NO... to suppression
NO... to tyranny
NO... to control

The bullies on the world stage are being brought to task;  not with retaliation rooted in anger but with a fervent peaceful energy.

As I watch these events unfold with compassion for these incredibly brave people, I can't help bringing it even closer to home.

How many of us have or are still allowing ourselves or others to be treated the same way; maybe not to this extreme, but still unacceptable.

This same angry, disrespectful, fear-mongering and controlling behavior is displayed by some who feel they have the right to do so due to their position of power.

Bullies don't exist solely as dictators of countries or on school playgrounds. They can also be parents or the boss at work.

Be the role model in your life by becoming a peaceful activist where you live and work; find your voice  and support others in finding theirs!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Stammering Wisdom

Okay I know it seems as though I have been on hiatus, kind of like your favorite television series does just as things are heating apologies!!

Well I can explain...well maybe need...the good news is, all is well and I'm bbbbbbaaaaaack!

This past weekend my daughter treated me to a movie :) and I treated her to the popcorn (almost as much yikes!!)

Having been a little behind for a while, we finally got to see The King's Speech and all the buzz around this movie is well deserved!

I'm sure I can't be the only one who caught the huge message behind CCCCCCCCColin Firth's amazing performance!

The mutual respect and kindness that any of us treat our kids with or rather the lack thereof has a profound impact on them....not only revealed in more obvious ways such as a stammer as it was in this case, but the silent devastation and turmoil that can last long after a so called well-meant disappointment or disapproval from us is uttered!

No family is immune...not even a royal one! So let's try to breathe and count to 10 before those discouraging words come flying out...we can't take them back!! :-(

Monday, November 29, 2010

Who do we look up to?

Many of us grow up wanting to be just like the role models we idolize, but what exactly is it that we aspire to emulate?

For some, huge monetary success and a prestigious role in a corporation is something they see themselves becoming...others might be attracted to glamour and fame... and there are those who revere others who make a positive difference in the world and feel compelled to do the same.

These are but a few examples of people we may have looked up to when we were younger, however our 'job' is what we do...'who' we are when we're doing it is even more important!

Flash forward and now we are the role models ourselves and our influence on the coming generations is it begs us to reflect on what kind of role models we have become.

Do we measure our success by our bank account or by how we treat others? Is our ego inflated by fame or do we use our public success to model kindness and compassion? Do we help others to make ourselves look good or do we really see how we are all connected and give from a more selfless place?

Are we happy with what we have or unhappy not having what we want? Do we live by the golden rule or believe in an eye for an eye?

I hope that when it's my turn to go, the service will be filled to the rafters and spilling out into the parking lot with all the people whose live's I touched and somehow made a difference...for me that will be my measure of success...but I also hope that that's a long long time from now! :)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Bullying Awareness ...uh week??

Where I live it's Bullying Awareness week, but really, is a week of awareness enough? I don't think I'm the only one who wishes we could all be more conscious and aware of bullying every day!
Last month you couldn't turn on the television without seeing yet another expose on the tragic ending to a young life that could have been prevented.

It inspired me to share my views on bullying...not just as it pertains to gay teens but a more generic look at the root causes of bullying, the widespread effects and how we can end the cycle.
As the response was so overwhelming when I first posted these entries, I wanted to share them with you again...their content and relevance just as important today as the day I wrote them.

Be part of the solution to end bullying for good! Be the Role Model!!