Motherhood at it's best!

I'm one of the lucky ones...after years of yearning and trying I stepped into the role that I somehow always knew I would, despite the obstacles that kept popping up...I became a mom, one of the most important role models in our kid’s lives!

As I sit here now, almost a quarter of a century beyond my kid less twenties, I have but one regret - that I wasn't who I am now in those early years of motherhood.

• I wish I could have had the where with all to bite my tongue before yelling and making my children cry...
• I wish I had learned to be more present with them instead of being distracted by the stress and worries in my life...
• I wish I had dismounted my high horse sooner, realizing that I didn't always know better or more than them...(and still don't!)
• And most of all, I wish I could have known how to love them unconditionally from the get go (I thought I was :( )

The experience of being a mom was everything I thought it would be and more, although the more coming a little later in my rearing days. So I'm not perfect...none of us are!

We all do the best we can and I know that because of the stages my children have gone through – from temper tantrums to piercings and everything in between – I've grown up and changed too...and that's a good thing!!

My kids are both adults now and my traditional parenting role is pretty much over, I’ve done my job! At 18 and 19, I trust that my now young adults know right from wrong, kindness from not and have a vision for their lives that is all their own!

Of course I’ll be their mom forever but I’m looking forward to this next chapter of their lives and mine with no apron strings attached!

Wishing you all a wonderful Mother's Day!

Awesome Role Models!

Thumbs up for Awesomeness!

We all need a dose of positivity...some days more than others!

Listening to the radio this morning I was reminded of an awesome role model who created a blog about finding something positive and awesome every day....I really like this guy Neil!

His site is 1000awesomethings.com and he has written 2 books.... The Book of Awesome and his second one was just released The Book of (even more) Awesome!

You can subscribe to his daily posts and be reminded ( especially on one of those days ) to find something to smile about, be happy with, grateful for or look forward to.

It isn't just parents, teachers, leaders, adults etc. who are role models, we all are and the younger the better as far as I'm concerned... way to go Neil!

Thumbs up!

Cairo...Libya...what's next?

Through the revolution in Cairo and the current devastating events in Libya, the world is witnessing the collective 'NO' that thousands finally have the courage to not only say but stand behind...no matter what!

They've had enough and are subsequently saying...

NO... to suppression
NO... to tyranny
NO... to control

The bullies on the world stage are being brought to task;  not with retaliation rooted in anger but with a fervent peaceful energy.

As I watch these events unfold with compassion for these incredibly brave people, I can't help bringing it even closer to home.

How many of us have or are still allowing ourselves or others to be treated the same way; maybe not to this extreme, but still unacceptable.

This same angry, disrespectful, fear-mongering and controlling behavior is displayed by some who feel they have the right to do so due to their position of power.

Bullies don't exist solely as dictators of countries or on school playgrounds. They can also be parents or the boss at work.

Be the role model in your life by becoming a peaceful activist where you live and work; find your voice  and support others in finding theirs!

Stammering Wisdom

Okay I know it seems as though I have been on hiatus, kind of like your favorite television series does just as things are heating up...my apologies!!

Well I can explain...well maybe not...no need...the good news is, all is well and I'm bbbbbbaaaaaack!

This past weekend my daughter treated me to a movie :) and I treated her to the popcorn (almost as much yikes!!)

Having been a little behind for a while, we finally got to see The King's Speech and all the buzz around this movie is well deserved!

I'm sure I can't be the only one who caught the huge message behind CCCCCCCCColin Firth's amazing performance!

The mutual respect and kindness that any of us treat our kids with or rather the lack thereof has a profound impact on them....not only revealed in more obvious ways such as a stammer as it was in this case, but the silent devastation and turmoil that can last long after a so called well-meant disappointment or disapproval from us is uttered!

No family is immune...not even a royal one! So let's try to breathe and count to 10 before those discouraging words come flying out...we can't take them back!! :-(

Who do we look up to?

Many of us grow up wanting to be just like the role models we idolize, but what exactly is it that we aspire to emulate?

For some, huge monetary success and a prestigious role in a corporation is something they see themselves becoming...others might be attracted to glamour and fame... and there are those who revere others who make a positive difference in the world and feel compelled to do the same.

These are but a few examples of people we may have looked up to when we were younger, however our 'job' is what we do...'who' we are when we're doing it is even more important!

Flash forward and now we are the role models ourselves and our influence on the coming generations is huge...so it begs us to reflect on what kind of role models we have become.

Do we measure our success by our bank account or by how we treat others? Is our ego inflated by fame or do we use our public success to model kindness and compassion? Do we help others to make ourselves look good or do we really see how we are all connected and give from a more selfless place?

Are we happy with what we have or unhappy not having what we want? Do we live by the golden rule or believe in an eye for an eye?

I hope that when it's my turn to go, the service will be filled to the rafters and spilling out into the parking lot with all the people whose live's I touched and somehow made a difference...for me that will be my measure of success...but I also hope that that's a long long time from now! :)

Bullying Awareness ...uh week??

Where I live it's Bullying Awareness week, but really, is a week of awareness enough? I don't think I'm the only one who wishes we could all be more conscious and aware of bullying every day!
Last month you couldn't turn on the television without seeing yet another expose on the tragic ending to a young life that could have been prevented.

It inspired me to share my views on bullying...not just as it pertains to gay teens but a more generic look at the root causes of bullying, the widespread effects and how we can end the cycle.
As the response was so overwhelming when I first posted these entries, I wanted to share them with you again...their content and relevance just as important today as the day I wrote them.

http://betherole-model.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-was-bullying-mom.html

http://betherole-model.blogspot.com/2010/10/breaking-bullying-cycle.html



Be part of the solution to end bullying for good! Be the Role Model!!

Ready...Set...Let Go!

It's hard to see anyone we love struggle with circumstances that have come up in their lives and it is especially hard as parents to witness our children in pain...we just want to make it go away for them!

As hard as it might be for us, we have to let go and allow our kids to experience what they are experiencing. I'm not talking about physical injury or pain...this is about their stress, their disappointments, their emotional struggles. 

Now it's not to say that we turn away and let them suffer, that's not it at all. We need to create a safe and nurturing environment for them, be compassionate, listen to them, and love and support them unconditionally through their trials, even if the choices that they have made have led them to their woes.

We've all heard the phrase, we learn from our mistakes, and one of the most difficult parts of parenting is to actually let our kids make one!

From my own experience with two teenagers coupled with the fact that I am a recovering control freak (I'm getting better though! :)), I have humbly learned that it can be very disrespectful as well as debilitating to interfere with our kids predicaments.

Consider the possibility that the message we're sending is that we don't believe in them nor that they have the capability to figure a way through their situation or conflict; or that our common complaint that kids don't take responsibility may come from never having learned how to because we're always jumping in to save the day!

Another downside is that we end up taking on so much unnecessary stress for ourselves when we try to fix or take away anyone else's pain... don't we have enough of our own to deal with anyway?

We all want to empower our kids and as as their role models this is just one of the many ways that I've learned as a parent to do just that!

So.....ready...set...let go!