It's hard to see anyone we love struggle with circumstances that have come up in their lives and it is especially hard as parents to witness our children in pain...we just want to make it go away for them!
As hard as it might be for us, we have to let go and allow our kids to experience what they are experiencing. I'm not talking about physical injury or pain...this is about their stress, their disappointments, their emotional struggles.
Now it's not to say that we turn away and let them suffer, that's not it at all. We need to create a safe and nurturing environment for them, be compassionate, listen to them, and love and support them unconditionally through their trials, even if the choices that they have made have led them to their woes.
We've all heard the phrase, we learn from our mistakes, and one of the most difficult parts of parenting is to actually let our kids make one!
From my own experience with two teenagers coupled with the fact that I am a recovering control freak (I'm getting better though! :)), I have humbly learned that it can be very disrespectful as well as debilitating to interfere with our kids predicaments.
Consider the possibility that the message we're sending is that we don't believe in them nor that they have the capability to figure a way through their situation or conflict; or that our common complaint that kids don't take responsibility may come from never having learned how to because we're always jumping in to save the day!
Another downside is that we end up taking on so much unnecessary stress for ourselves when we try to fix or take away anyone else's pain... don't we have enough of our own to deal with anyway?
We all want to empower our kids and as as their role models this is just one of the many ways that I've learned as a parent to do just that!