It's the most wonderful time of the year?

Only a few weeks left before our kids go back to school and I'm really puzzled at the message behind the commercial ad for school supplies that has played for several years over the air waves.

I was thinking this morning that there were only two more sleeps (yes I still count down in sleeps!) until my 18 year old daughter returns from her amazing humanitarian trip to Kenya! Of course I missed her and as she begins another new journey this fall I will cherish every day that she still lives with me...she won't forever!

My son is entering his last year of high school and I have enjoyed every minute of the summer with both my kids....more time together, amazing weather and a lot of fun!

So here's my quandary ....why would our kids going back to school be the most wonderful time of the year?

Are they implying that we want to get rid of our kids? That it's too hard having them around all the time? Sheesh...I sure hope not!!

But then again, maybe there are those out there who feel their kids are a bit of an inconvenience being around for the summer and they like life better once they're back at school? If you are one of them please contact me...please! :)

We only get one shot at this parenting thing, they'll be gone soon enough...and for good! There will be plenty of times where you will miss these years so enjoy every single one of them now...oh and your kids will like that you do too!!

Walking the Talk

For the past several months I have been vowing to change the dial on my radio from a morning show that I have listened to for decades and yesterday I finally did it!

The energy of the show had changed, or so I thought...maybe it was me who has changed :)

I had been increasingly getting tired of the incessant judging and poking fun at others...bordering on rude, and the playing of songs that although may have been popular, conveyed messages that were inconsistent with the tone I try to set for myself and my kids in my life and that I quite frankly didn't want to hear.

Don't get me wrong....I love to laugh just as much as the next guy(gal)...just not at someone's expense and even if a tune is catchy, something doesn't feel right dancing away to that negativity!

So I changed all the radios around the house as well as the one in my car to a new station that is more aligned with my values.

When I told my teenage son about this great thing I did, his response was, " Yeah Mom, You've been saying you were going to do that forever!" ...and he was right!

This may seem like a silly example, but it's so important to walk our talk in every capacity if we're going to be the role models our kids need and as you can see, they observe everything!

Conscious Kids

Yesterday I had a few tears in my eyes as I saw a picture of my daughter's beautiful face for the first time since she left for Kenya on an amazing adventure in association with Me to We and Free the Children with the primary purpose of building a school.

I receive regular e-mail updates on her group's activities and they shared how Craig Kielburger himself showed up on a surprise visit recently as they all celebrated the official opening of the the Clean Water Projects!

Coincidentally, later the same day I had read an article where the Kielburger brothers (co-founders of the Free the Children Foundation) spoke of the best way to inspire more socially aware kids was to be mirrors ourselves as parents and model the behavior...music to my ears!

I know this to be true from many experiences in my own life, but most importantly through my children.

It's like this being more conscious message was coming out of the woodwork for me yesterday as I spent time with my other teenager, my son, and we got chatting about how he chooses to respond instead of react in situations with his peers, especially in heated situations and can see how coming from this different perspective is very unique in today's society.

When people say to me that I must be so proud of my kids I of course say that I am, however, I know that the shifts I made and continue to make to be a more aware and conscious mom was and still is key in inspiring and sustaining the path they choose to follow in life.

So let's take the texting, video game playing and peer pressure off the hot seat...monkey see monkey do!!


 

Report Card Drama

School's almost out for the summer...and the report cards are coming home...so what will you do? How will you react as a parent to less than great marks??

I was asked to do a television interview this week on Global News here in Toronto addressing this very topic, in fact an area that I frequently discuss with many parents.

The fact is our kids will not all be A students...some are and others are at the other end of the spectrum, just like when we were in school...maybe our sibling(s) were at the top of the class and we weren't.

The point though as parents is to be aware of  if we treat our kids differently based on their marks, because if we do, they can feel it!

Children just want to be unconditionally loved by us and that includes whether or not they get an A or an F.

For other tips to avoid any report card dramas, you can view the clip of the interview  Enjoy :)

You Gotta Laugh!

Okay I admit it...I love being a mom and doing mom things, so yes I still make my son's lunch even though he is 17, but the way I look at it is that I don't have many more years left to have this role so I'm going to make the most of it...especially because he's my youngest.

So of course being a good mom, I wanted him to have some protein to go along with his sour gushers and dry alphabits that I substituted for cookies as I hadn't been shopping, so I made him a tuna sandwich.

Sometime late morning, I received this text..but before that I just wanted to make a suggestion that parents learn how to text as this is probably the only way they'll be able to communicate with their teens...anyway the text read like this:      " Nice giant hair in my sandwich!"

I laughed so hard when I read it and even more so when he descriptively described, once he got home from school, how the whole thing went down in the cafeteria amongst his peers.

I had sent him a text back that said, "Extra protein never hurt anyone :)" He did end up eating the sandwich, after all we are family...but not the hair!

This morning I taped a note to his wrap that said, " No hairs in your lunch today!" which I know will make him smile.

The point of all this? We have to laugh more with our kids...have more fun with them and lighten up...it's so much easier when we do!

The Bullying Epidemic

As I was watching yet another news story on bullying, I just wanted to crawl into the tv and say, “Why can’t you see the solution??” I felt like I had bought my glasses from a different store than anyone else!


Our children are not born bullies…a phrase that I hope one day becomes a mantra for every single parent, teacher, coach and person working with kids. As I continued to watch I thought that one move in the right direction would be to change the definition of what it means to bully, so I wrote this:

Dear Dictionary,
Please amend the current definition for bullying to:

Any act, be it physical, verbal or non-verbal, that makes someone feel bad about themselves, not good enough.

There is an epidemic that pervades our society more than any disease that has ever existed – feeling not good enough.

It’s the common thread that runs through not only bullying, but the issues of obesity, depression, addictions, suicide and more!

In order to find the solution, we have to start asking ourselves the tough questions. There are way too many to mention but we can start with these general ones:

How do I treat my kids/partner when I’m mad?
Do I compare my kids to their friends, siblings, teammates?
Do I treat my child differently when they bring home an A or an F?
Do I express my disappointment when my kid doesn’t meet my expectations?
Do I punish my child when they act up?

This is just scratching the surface, but you get the idea. Now I know many of you may be getting a little incensed right now…I know because I did when I was asked to look at and take responsibility for my behavior…but we have to!

If we were honest with ourselves we would see that we have all been on either side of the bullying fence and if we ever hope to have harmony in our schools or our homes we have to have the courage to ask the tough questions!

This is a wake-up call that comes straight from the heart with unbridled compassion for every child who is bullied and for those who have become the bullies – they each express their feelings of not good enough in a different way, yet both in the way they have been taught.

We can stop this epidemic in its tracks by finding a way to heal our own feelings of not good enough so we don’t pass them along to our children and once we do that we will inspire a new legacy and generation of kids who are empowered and who would never need to put down another in order to feel better about themselves!

Harmony in our schools can and will happen when there is harmony in our homes and the solution lies in being a role model of unconditional love.

Mothers at their best!

I thought that today,on the eve of Mother's Day weekend, would be the perfect day to launch my blog so... welcome to my inaugural post!

Everyday I hear or see examples from my own personal experiences, current events or explosive stories in the media that can serve as big wake-up calls if we let them, but sometimes we miss the chance because we’re too focused on the finger pointing out instead of the three pointing back!

My blog is going to be all about taking a look a these examples and how we can take a page out of their life book so to speak and apply it to ours.

Although I've heard ramblings of not so nice comments and PDA's (Public Displays of Anger) about this sometimes outspoken mom from The View, I think the public apology that Elisabeth Hasselbeck made this week to Erin Andrews (after dissing her costume choices on Dancing with the Stars) spotlights a great message and depicts what this blog is all about.



We all make mistakes and unfortunately when celebrities make them the whole world knows about it, but, and yes I know this sounds a little odd, this can be a very good thing...for us!

I really felt her sincere and humble as she took responsibility not only for her mean and insensitive behavior, but I also believe that she had a huge AHA moment with her daughter; seeing the hipocrisy of what she has been trying to teach her and how she wasn't walking the talk herself. (hmm...note to self)

Of course equally applying to any adult, as mothers we're always trying to do the best we can until we know how to do it even better and once we know how we can be better it's pretty hard to go back.

So on behalf of myself & many other mothers, thanks Elisabeth for this wake-up call to all of us who aren't modelling what we are preaching!

Happy Mother's Day!
JC